Ask General Kang: Do you celebrate April Fool’s Day on your planet?
I invite you to consider the staggering odds that you and I speak the same language. I, a superior species from a far-distant galaxy, and you, a glabrous hominid of no real worth, somehow share the...
View ArticleAsk General Kang: I’ve heard that one of the first things women check out is...
Wow, this is a tough one. First of all, I don’t put anything on my feet, so I’m not really sure what this “footwear” concept is all about. (Don’t be fooled by my picture, those boots were added with...
View ArticleThe inspiration for The Fridgularity (discussion post)
A bit of a departure for today’s Skwib. I’m currently engaging in a lively discussion of The Fridgularity over on Goodreads with The Next Best Book Club (TNBBC), and I thought I’d pull out some of my...
View ArticleThe Chair That Sat Back
Mephistopheles relaxed after a good (evil) day’s work, buying souls. He’d chalked up three witches, a magus, a brick-maker who’d had too much to drink, and Michael Bay. (Boob, explosions and flash-cuts...
View ArticleWhy Dr. McCoy was not a whiny bitch
McCoy, Kirk and Spock are all about to die as their bodies are de-atomized over a period of several agonizing seconds. Everyone in the original Star Trek was quite condescending to Bones whenever he...
View ArticleThe League of Peculiar Gentlemen: The Brits
Though not as well-known as other Leagues composed of remarkable individuals, the League of Peculiar Gentlemen (LOPG) is none-the-less, an astonishing story of sacrifice, heroism, and strapping things...
View ArticleThe League of Peculiar Gentlemen: The Americans
Not to be outdone by their British compatriots, the North American members of the League of Peculiar Gentlemen were also adept at strapping strange things to their faces. Perhaps the most famous of the...
View ArticleMemories of Antietam
child of the corn, a photo by imagecarnival on Flickr. Little Jehoshaphat was born in 1832 to a family of carnival performers and technicians that roamed the Americas. From Georgia up to New England,...
View ArticleRemembering The Beard Wars
by Mark A. Rayner “Captain Chiggerson, can you hear me? Captain?” “I can hear you! I’m blind, not deaf.” “Sorry Captain, but you didn’t seem to be responding,” the historian asked. He was a young man,...
View ArticlePirate Therapy
Laurence arrived a few minutes late for his regular Thursday morning session, but his therapist usually ran late, so he wasn’t worried. From behind the door of his therapist’s office, he heard a...
View ArticleClown Apocalypse
Years later, the survivors discovered the Bozo Virus got its start at Escola de Clown de Girona, near the end of semester. The “Esclowna” was a kind of university/prep school for the international...
View ArticleAsk General Kang: How do you celebrate Halloween on your home planet?
Why would you think that we even have the same ridiculous pagan rituals on the great and glorious planet of Neecknaw? I mean, it’s insulting! We’re not some backwards little planet, sitting safely away...
View ArticleOne of the Magi Explains About the Myrrh
Everyone keeps giving me shit about my gift to Jesus the Son of God and the Messiah, King of Kings. “Isn’t myrrh basically perfume for mummies?” these ass-clowns keep asking me. “Is that an appropriate...
View ArticleExcerpt: Cyber-zombies in The Fridgularity
As the self-aware entity Zathir takes over the Internet (and promptly locks all humans out of it), a noticeable portion of the population become unhinged by their loss of their favorite thing. It’s not...
View ArticleFonts of The Fridgularity
TYPOGRAPHY One of the ideas that I play with in The Fridgularity is that the entity Zathir — you know, the one that takes over the Internet and promptly locks all humans out of it — is actually a...
View ArticleExcerpt: Internet addicts, looking for a fix in The Fridgularity
The Fridgularity begins with the Big Crash — the Internet goes down, as an entity takes over all the horsepower available through all the devices connected to it. This has certain deleterious effects...
View ArticleTeaser from The Fridgularity: How the Grinch Stole Christmas
The Fridgularity is a satire of Internet culture, so that means it’s rife with pop-culture references, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas is one of them. I can’t tell you any more, as that would be a...
View ArticleThe Thomas Kincaid Pop-Up Christmas Tree and Consumer Happiness Dispenser
(from the 2037 Hammacher Schlemmer Glaven catalog) This is a six-foot Christmas tree that pops up instantly and is pre-decorated with original artwork by renowned holiday artist Thomas Kinkaid, all of...
View ArticleHelp with your New Year’s Resolutions
Two simple words from Bob Newhart on meeting your life goals: But you shouldn’t stop going to Alltop.
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